writing like crazy

Please bear with me. I've been writing weird stuff lately. I don't know why. Maybe I'm just missing somebody. I'm trying to ignore it but I do. Nakakainis.

Actually, I missed watching his game today. I had dinner plans with my best buddy in the office. He's here for a vacation from London. Siyempre, mas important siya or is he really? Just kidding, I love him dearly. He was the one who told me in the face to grow up and get over my "ex" because he's not worth it. He said, "Crying won't get you anywhere. Kung ako sa yo, bumangon ka dyan at maghahanap ka ng iba who really deserves what you can offer." Brave words but true. I guess from then on, that helped me become stronger.

Back to my boy-let... he he he.. Haven't seen him this week. Dammit. We're on different shifts. Actually, I did see him last Monday. HIs back. I saw his back. Pathetic. Anyway, chill lang. Ganun talaga. Kakaasar lang kasi destiny provided me a chance to have a sneak peek on him. And I didn't capitalize. Lugi.

That's why I'm writing like crazy. Frustration's an art itself.

The Right Time

When does someone know you're ready?
Ready to take the chance
That big dive
Assuring yourself that you wouldn't drown.

When do you call the timing is right?
The right time to trust yourself
With another person
And not make the same mistake again

Is there really a right time
For someone to be ready
Or is it just a leap of faith
That this time,
Everything would be alright?

Oops! he did it again!

I couldn't sleep. I'm still smiling.

He did it again.

Another round of small talk and this time, he initiated it. Or so I imagined.

Nevertheless, he did it again. And I couldn't stop smiling. To think that it happened almost 7 hours ago.

I am still smiling. I couldn't help it.

I dread for tomorrow.

Anxiety Kicks In

had a great day the other day. Besides the fact that I learned and enjoyed the seminar I attended (THANK YOU, SIR FRANCIS KONG), I got a bonus when my "crush" (he he he) was on the same shift as mine. And we talked. Just got weird though. He was asking about Sudoku. OMG! And to think I know what's that all about. Well, I had an idea but for me to explain to him about it was not really my idea of a conversation.
I had mixed emotions. One side of me was rejoicing because there may be a possibility that he might like me. He was asking me about stuff he thinks that I might be interested in. First, blogging then Sudoku. Wow. The other side me was screaming and giving warning signals. The possibility of being hopeful then only to be hurt again was not really on my agenda at this moment.
I've seen him again. TODAY. Another small talk. Actually, more of "alaskahan". I don't know what to make of it but somehow he has invited me to watch his team's game which was happening an hour later. His words were, "If you try to watch the next game, you won't be able to because all the tickets are sold out." Being confident as I am, I already assumed it was an invitation although I really did intend to watch because I've researched the schedule of his team's games for the week). Well anyway, I went with a friend and arrived during the second half of the game. I tried very hard not to concentrate too much on him for fear that somebody might discover my little secret which until now, I haven't told anyone in the office. They won. I'm glad. Then the most unexpected thing happened, we were on our way back to the lab when I heard him saying something to me. I think it was a comment or something about me showing up leading to the loss of the other team. I retorted back saying, "And I thought this game's sold out." A dumb retort but I knew he understood what I meant. I was smiling from the inside. I can't help it.
Then anxiety kicks in.
You know the drill.

HaPPY PLaCE

Another day. Another dragging day. Or so I thought. I was just reading some stuff in the company board and then there...my happy place (at the moment) came to life. I instantly smiled and he smiled back. And there I was, back to my happy place again. It's like high school all over again with just a little maturity. But the feeling and the excitement is almost the same. Only with a different person. Nevertheless, it's still a happy place. Something that I enjoy and look forward to at the moment.